An Invitation

Hundred tents and more than hundred pairs of eyes

bathe in the brightness of the stars

more than a hundred dreams and failures

In the morning they will swim and fish and kayak in the lake

They will close their books, remember quotations in their hearts

Create spaces for discoveries

Some will be filled, some will remain empty

Tension of equilibrium and displacements

Each day is different from the last

They may question accomplishments

and value experiences

The dialogue of thoughts that inhabits the mind

Like a breeze playing with the reeds

Come, the reeds say to the breeze,

Let’s dance.

A Wish

I want to make my life means something 

starting with my thoughts

I walk and think of things

simple ordinary things

Exquisite fantastical things,

lounging on the porch, sailing the ocean

Being scared during a storm, t

asting a lemon meringue pie,

a piece of happiness

I imagine talking with a child

both of us laughing

both of us crying with pain

then silence

then again we will join Socrates 

in symmetry of thought

we will say we don’t know anything

and it will be something.

with every step I am happy

I am not alone anymore.

If winter comes

Snow on top of the trees

We can walk under it as if inside a cathedral

Our steps will mark a memory

But will melt with time

Unlike sorrow etched in the heart

Doesn’t completely fade away

But sadness and snow can be generous

If given time.

note: I am brushing up with my chess games.I am replaying a lot of games by the world chess champions.

Insight

Wet clothes hang on a line suspended  on two poles

On windy days wave like captive souls

A passerby pauses as if trying to recall a forgotten task

A boy walking the opposite way

Tries to understand between fascination and true insight

He remembers he should get home before Angelus 

Clouds darkening hurriedly in the horizon.

Grief

“Grief isn’t meant to be silenced, to live in the body and be carried alone.”

-Suleika Jaouad

Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of Life Interrupted

note: I finished reading Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of Life Interrupted by Suleika Jaouad.

Books I am reading: War and Peace, Matrix by Lauren Groff, The Life of Elves by Muriel Barbery and The best American Poetry 2021, Tracy K.Smith, guest editor and David Lehman, series editor.

Seeking OThers

It’s becoming clearer and clearer to me that I need to leave the familiar, but I don’t want to do it entirely alone-I want to seek others who can offer perspective into my predicament, who can help guide my passage.”

-Suleika Jaouad, Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted

HAPPY NEW YEAR

I like carrying a yellow parasol

protects me from rain

sometimes it balance my thoughts

from crowds, sudden jolts

opens to social distancing,

a companion in my walks

If I am meeting a friend

I am easy to distinguish 

In a crowded train station

Suffering can be cruel

yellow seems to soften my emotion

It’s New Year 

you will understand changes.

Hummingbirds

Hummingbirds suddenly 

seem to be everywhere

Chasing each other

 or hovering over the lavender 

The morning fog rises gently

You are standing in the midst, smiling.

I look at you and start talking

to myself.

You ask why ?

My way of clearing my mind 

sometimes it gets crowded with thoughts.

Don’t you get frightened 

when it gets empty?

Maybe that happens 

when someone you love leaves, 

walks away.

The hummingbirds leave one by one

and my friend

I am alone again.

The fog returns

I feel cold

I linger awhile

before I return home.

note: Books I’m reading: War and Peace. I was persuated by an article about Yiyun Li reading War and Peace once a year. And reading it along with others-Tolstoy Together.

Also reading Inseparable by Simone de Beauvoir.

Exploration

There is no need to be frozen in dark alleys

To bear heaviness of danger

Or be afraid before opening doors

Or when standing alone in street corners

Don’t be oppressed by these ideas

Life is a wide horizon

Away from stairways

Express yourself to the utmost

Bon voyage

Explore, with full concentration, the world.

Never mind occasional solitude

A cloudless sky is not empty

When evening comes it will be full of light

The story will enter a full existence

Even when you close your eyes.

How to begin

The origin, the seed

how one begins

is not always known.

Leaves filter the light

sometimes luminous lines appear

murmurs arise, slowly fade

you are playing with a cat

noises outside distract your attention

young adults riding bicycles passing 

outside the window are talking loudly

You search your memory

when you were at that age

developing the habit of repetition

riding around town and along the river

your imagination arranging images

the commotion when fishermen arrived at the dock

the boats, smell of the sea, fish, big and small.

You bike back home

like completing a loop in memory

you will listen to the language of the birds

unsurprisingly calming at the end of the day.