Begins With A Question

Life is not a simple flow of time

 A lived experience

a taste of beauty

then taken away

Is there enjoyment in being immortal

though everything you touch is not permanent

a statue, a stone, unlike a snowflake

everyone will pass away

and you remain

immortal, you,alone

with all your elaborate memories.

Can we still ask

and live life’s hard question

or remain submerged in modern angst?

Or are we waiting like a jar

to fall into fragments on the floor?

Or do we bloom for each other on virtual reality?

In the reddening sun

we should not be content

just to be alive.

note: I finished reading the book, Paris in the Present Tense by Mark Helprin. About time, art and life and love.

Seeking OThers

It’s becoming clearer and clearer to me that I need to leave the familiar, but I don’t want to do it entirely alone-I want to seek others who can offer perspective into my predicament, who can help guide my passage.”

-Suleika Jaouad, Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted

Hummingbirds

Hummingbirds suddenly 

seem to be everywhere

Chasing each other

 or hovering over the lavender 

The morning fog rises gently

You are standing in the midst, smiling.

I look at you and start talking

to myself.

You ask why ?

My way of clearing my mind 

sometimes it gets crowded with thoughts.

Don’t you get frightened 

when it gets empty?

Maybe that happens 

when someone you love leaves, 

walks away.

The hummingbirds leave one by one

and my friend

I am alone again.

The fog returns

I feel cold

I linger awhile

before I return home.

note: Books I’m reading: War and Peace. I was persuated by an article about Yiyun Li reading War and Peace once a year. And reading it along with others-Tolstoy Together.

Also reading Inseparable by Simone de Beauvoir.

Orange Moon

Years of drought

the hills are tinder-dry

wild fires start as if spontaneously

all so near us and moving

Evacuation warnings, be ready

I wake this morning

with one wish

from a constellation of wishes

spare us

of more fires

I will keep praying

Orange moon looks on us

I have faith

I’m afraid.

note: The photos are from my walk to the river this morning before the air quality became unhealthy. The photo of the moon was taken this evening.

Book I finished reading: Life After Life by Kate Atkinson. Books I’m reading: The Sea by John Banville for my Book Club. I’m re-reading the English Patient.

The heron is back


We are surrounded by wild fires for several days started by thousands of lightning strikes. Air quality was poor for a few days because of the smoke.

I have been walking every day since Saturday except yesterday.

I am happy to see the heron is back.

Note: Books I finished reading: Bell by Iris Murdoch and Dante’s Divine Comedy (Inferno) translated by Hollander and Hollander.

Cursory Way

708D2DA1-2224-4469-BD40-E883663D8C6BI have a mountain of books to read

Books are scattered everywhere in the house

I will call and ask you where to start reading

The garage is full of non-essentials

My hours need occupants

On most days I walk in the neighborhood.

Now is the time that I should go deeper in my learning

Not my usual ordinary way to please myself.

It’s sad to realize it takes a pandemic to wake me up.

Time is emptying like food on the shelves.

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Today, Saturday, I walked in the afternoon. It was cool 63 degrees. I brought my camera to take photos of the birds I see during my walk to the river. I know the blue heron and the red wing blackbird but I don’t know the other birds.

Books I am reading:

The Seven Storey Mountain by Thomas merton

Mastering the Art of French Eating by Ann Mah

A Beautiful Question by Frank Wilczek

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