All the wet clothes hanging in the clothesline
fly away after a heavy gush of wind
I’m left speechless
Shall I chase the clothes?
Can I find my way back?
What does it mean to be lost?
Once, I got lost in Istanbul’s Grand Bazaar.
My cell phone was not in my pocket.
My peripheral vision catches
a cat climbing a fence hurriedly
sees me and stops
her claws grasp the top and hangs
there like a gymnast
her eyes fix on me
is she curious or afraid
I will never know
I resume my walk
along yellow and purple flowers
and under the shade of redwood trees.
They can be a child and her aunt
But they are two birds: a gull and a blue heron
Their backs facing each other
In awareness of my approach
Walking towards them one small step at a time
Their eyes, their wings, their feet in complete stillness
I turn around after I take a photo
With gratitude for their courtesy.
Is it a mystery
When fear is stilled and comprehended?
Is it easy to step into simplicity
And why is it a stuggle to stay?
Sometimes you have to withdraw your rational mind
And the insistence to understand.
It’s a long way, a long way.
note: I finished reading Abandon, A Romance by Pico Iyer.I’m starting anew book: Beyond The Sky And The Earth, A Journey into Bhutan by Jamie Zeppa.
I just discovered a minimalist artist, Agnes Martin and heard the voice of Sissel Kyrkjebo, both for the first time.
You have been attentive, writing in your journal
Don’t hide your theoretical bent
Don’t be afraid of contradictions
Open yourself to new patterns
Your mind, with time, will find the relevance
Kindness is part of a larger universe
All of us is given a key
We only have to find it.
A cat stares at the window
A glass prism splits the light
A woman’s gaze shifts to the opposite direction
The children are playing a game: Find Me A Doll.
All are not in a hurry.
They arrive in front of the window all at the same time.
The mothers are relieved, afraid when they are apart
Like when they are playing in the field
And storm is brewing.
Now the woman can start the dinner.
The cat can play with the ball of yarn.
I woke up this morning
Drenched with sunshine
Craving for apple fritters
Dunked in hot chocolate
One of those moments
When I thought
Sugar is a blessing
But something tugged
My heart in moment of jubilation:
The frantic faces,
Of new arrivals in the airport.
With fear and uncertainty
Of seeing their families and friends again
Like what I felt when I was told
I will have a quadruple bypass heart surgery.
Why hide your presence from the multitude
The chair behind the window yielded once to your sitting
The surrounding air warmed to your breathing
Why write only about legends and heroism
About shyness and rendezvous
There are stories of equal splendor:
The passionate listening hands behind the stethoscopes, a warm blanket,
Comforting words and warm moist cloth on your face
That calm your thoughts wakened and suddenly frightened at the middle of the night.
Light awakened me
new shadows were forming
fear with new frames,
Should I understand “meaning
of unhappiness or happiness”
in dreams or restorative sleep?
after a long winding road,
a lamp of illumination
taking me to direction and calm,
familiar places and thought,
I tried to understand
and find myself
I found you.