We lose sleep because we want

To know if our life has meaning

What’s the meaning we are looking for.

I pray for the Holy Spirit to help me

I went to see my primary physician today. Seeing a physician is a confirmation of our mortality. We are mortals. We are subject to decay. It’s a morbid reality.

When we pray we affirm our hope for immortality.

We should realize both conditions offer us a chance for greatness. Greatness means steps of extraordinary work. Greatness is immortality in the eyes of man and God. 

My doctor told me I have work to do. 

What is time?

I finished reading Ben Lerner’s Leaving the Atocha Station, modernistic and whose main character mirrors the author  with the book title borrowed from one of John Ashbery’s poem, and Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughter House Five, with the terror and cruelty of war with funny vignettes that are tragic, and as one review says “you are not permitted to laugh.”

I can put more time to tackle Proust’s Remembrance of Things Past.


photo: phoenix, a symbol of immortality, is carved or etched in some of the artifacts found with the terra cotta warriors. This Matisse’s-like cutout of the phoenix is flashed on the screen as part of the exhibit, China’s Terra Cotta Warriors, to explain the symbols of immortality that the First Emperor had chosen. The dragon is the other symbol.