Hide and seek

Mixing of their snores

Is like tangled vines

Where monkeys fight

Swinging and sometimes laughing

The waterfalls stop flowing

The moon hides behind the banyan tree

Then they breath again heaving

In increasing crescendo

Then the crest is reached

The noise stops

Like the sound of the dead 

Like when we were children

Playing hide and seek

You and I hide our breath with a kiss.

the last question

“Pain demands to be felt”, you say.

Can profound thoughts be experienced?

 

I can’t sleep 

without listening to Beethoven

one of my habits.

 

I cry over fictional characters

I can find solace in books.

 

I can think of hundred things 

we can share

grief is one.

 

I have eternal questions

that haunt me

but I don’t necessarily

have to know the answers.

Like Sisyphus I’m content

to push the rock to the summit 

and repeat the process 

after the rock falls down again.

 

But then I think for a moment

what if the” last good kiss I had 

was years ago?”

 

note: I’m currently reading The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. The lines “pain demands to be felt” and “last good kiss” are taken from The Fault In Our Stars.

 

Books I finished reading: Tinkers by Paul Harding and Levels of Life by Julian Barnes. One of the essays Barnes wrote is on Grief, its phases and faces. 

 

 

 

Are you romantic?

Nobel Prize winner Kary Mullis dedicated  his book, Dancing Naked in the Mind Field, to his wife, Nancy, wrote:

“Jean Paul Sartre somewhere observed that each of us make our own hell out of the people around us.  Had Jean Paul known Nancy, he may have noted that at least one man, someday might get very lucky, and make his own heaven out of the people around him.  She will be his morning and his evening star, shining with the brightest and softest light in his heaven.  She will be the end of his wanderings, and their love will arouse the daffodils in the spring to follow the crocuses and proceed the irises.  Their faith in one another will be deeper than time and their eternal spirit will be seamless once again.

Or maybe he just would have said,  “If I’d had a woman like that, my books wouldn’t be about despair.”

This book is not about despair.  It’s about a little bit about a lot of things, and if not a single one of them is wet with sadness, it is not due to my lack of depth; it is due to a year of Nancy, and the prospect of never again being without her.  “    

Kary Mullis, “Dancing Naked in the Mind Field” 1998

Image

photo: after entering Scotland

photo: of my wife,Mrs. Abstract,while taking a photo of Westminster Abbey , “a woman like  that”.

Image