Loneliness

If writing verses of a song can help 

Memorize prime numbers and build 

Memory, all my failings will fade

Away, I will be grateful for the new

Developments like learning how to elope

And reverse expenses. I, myself, 

Will be smiling, stand at the center of the stage

Start a play though will not make me richer, will make

Me less poorer. Is it an improvement to end

The year? Or is it a certain type of beauty,

A beauty of a moment that suddenly disappear?

Enduring moment is enduring the present bringing

Enough strength to move the wheels of hope.

It’s awful to feel lonely.

Find a way

Walk and empty your pockets of loneliness
the day is 69 degrees with cool breeze
red flowers are greeting the sun
meet bichon frise and bernese mountain dogs
or a man carrying a float tube on his back.

note: My Friday walk to the river: 9, 670 steps, 3.7miles

The Party

A feast of drinks, laughters, and embraces
And the late hour. I felt
Carried in the softness of air and deep comfort
Deeper into nothingness.
I woke up with darkness breaking
Chairs, tables, chandelliers, photos on the walls appearing
It was not the particulars that were frightening
Or the suddenness that was bewildering
Or the dull argument I was visited by demons
It was the silence, surrounded by silence
The loneliness of waking, waking up alone.

Alone

I fold all the tables
I fold all the chairs
I toast a glass of wine, alone
I will not cry.

one chooses to be

The loneliness

and torment of commitment

I have to laugh

to soften the thunderous decision.

It’s not easy to be an artist

and search for one’s identity.